"Math-Speaking" Adults as Role Models

To say that parents and teachers are role models for children is to state the obvious. We do our best to avoid swearing, show kindness to strangers, and generally be on our best behavior in front of our kids. But how many things are our kids learning from us that we never intended to teach them? Those of us who spend an unusually large number of hours in the company of our children are perhaps most apt to torture ourselves with this question.

Some might argue that if I had chosen a different approach to homeschooling I wouldn't have worried so much about what my children were (or were not) learning from me. A formal curriculum, one which covered every subject my children "needed" to know, would have provided uniform and consistent lessons that would make irrelevant my personal aptitudes (or ineptitudes). After all, if the textbook publishers and vendors at homeschooling conferences are to be believed, the "right" curriculum is all an instructor needs to be successful.

As it was, I decided to skip the curriculum-based approach and experiment with various ways of supporting my kids as they learned. I worked to redefine my role as a teacher. Instead of asking how I should teach a subject such as math or writing, I asked myself:

How does a parent who isn't directly teaching a subject, such as math, cultivate an environment that nurtures the type of thinking and skills that the subject requires?

I once thought that "providing a rich learning environment" meant getting my hands on the best educational resources. For example, when I wanted to nurture an interest in math, I supplemented "kitchen math" (baking and cooking) with math card games (Rat-a-Tat Cat, Alien Hotshots, Bzz Out and others by Gamewright), math playthings (such as Tangoes and Fractiles), math software (Treasure Mathstorm, Mathblaster), and books about math (Family Math by Stenmark et al, The Number Devil by Enszensberger, Math for Smarty Pants and many others by Marilyn Burns). All of these were fun for us.

Although I still believe high-quality resources are helpful, I'm beginning to reflect on the less tangible and indirect influence that teachers can have on a child's learning. Unintentionally or not, we act as role models for ways of thinking and learning. Sometimes our enthusiasm and attitude set a positive example—Bill Nye "the Science Guy"demonstrates a love of science that is positively infectious; Edward Burger (The Great Courses Joy of Thinking) displays a similar passion for math—but other times our example is less helpful.

In his book Mindstorms, Seymour Papert writes about "cultural toxins" that interfere with learning. He is referring primarily to the way we think and feel about ourselves and our ability to learn. In a very real sense, enthusiasm—and its evil counterpart, apathy—can be contagious. For example, if we think of ourselves as "not mathematical," what impact might that have on our kids? According to Papert:

"Many if not all the children who grow up with a love and appreciation for mathematics owe this feeling, at least in part, to the fact that they happened to acquire the 'germs' of the 'math culture' from adults, who, one might say, knew how to speak mathematics. . . . These 'math-speaking' adults do not necessarily know how to solve equations; rather, they are marked by a turn of mind that shows up in the logic of their arguments and in the fact that for them to play is often to play with such things as puzzles, puns, and paradoxes" (Mindstorms, p. 9). 

In other words, difficulty with math is not a genetic trait. Adults who did poorly at math in school are not destined to have children who do poorly at math, and yet . . . I have met more than a few homeschooling parents who lament that their kids have as much trouble with math as they once did. Why is that? Would their children have done better if they had spent more time with a "math-speaking" adult?

Thinking about "math-speaking" adults as role models has helped me to see how important it is to be honest about my own attitudes and prejudices. My kids can see through false enthusiasm as if it were plastic wrap, and there's no hiding my lack of interest in some subjects. Luckily, deciding to homeschool doesn't mean you have to be your child's only teacher. Part of our job as home educators is to connect our children with other mentors, people who not only have their own special expertise to share but who can also serve as important role models for different ways of thinking and learning.