Social Learning: From Play Dates to Study Groups

"What about socialization?" is a question every homeschooler is asked, usually more than once. The question is so ubiquitous, books about homeschooling typically include a section devoted to the topic (as one example, see Addressing Homeschool Socialization in Homeschooling for Dummies). Homeschoolers soon learn to ask for clarification: Is the questioner asking whether their homeschooled children have any friends? Or are they worried that their children will become social misfits? By now, enough research has been done to put both of these questions to rest (see Socialization: A Great Reason Not to Go to School by Karl M. Bunday), and my own experience during the past two decades supports the prevailing research: homeschooled kids enjoy a reasonable social life and possess decent social skills.

By the time they are three or four years old, kids show an interest in making friends. So, when my kids reached that age, I found or formed playgroups and arranged "play dates" for them. As they got older, I drove them to social activities: dance, music and art classes; book groups; scout meetings; science workshops; homeschool group "field trips" and science fairs; special days at nature centers, science museums, and historical landmarks. There was rarely a shortage of things to do or people to meet, and socialization wasn't a big concern.

I noticed a change, though, at around the age of 10 or 12. There were three new developments:

1. My kids began to crave meaningful, lasting relationships with a group of their peers. It wasn't enough for them to participate in large group activities with kids of all ages. Although those activities were fun, opportunities to make friends and "really talk," one-on-one, tended to be limited. 
2. They became more selective about their friendships. Unlike younger children, who seem willing to play with almost anyone they meet, my preteens wanted to spend time with people who were special to them in one way or another. They needed to find their "tribe." As they connected with a handful of friends who shared similar interests and a passion for life and learning, they favored time with those friends over other opportunities for "socializing." 
3. They wanted company during the long hours their more in-depth studies now required. They wanted to engage in serious conversations about what they were studying, and it was more interesting to learn with friends.

It was at this point that a handful of parents and preteens got together to brainstorm ways to combine academics with socializing. Without ever having heard of "social learning," we helped our kids form various study groups (book clubs and poetry workshops; cooking, sewing, science, and history classes). Most groups met once a week. The format usually included an adult mentor (one of the parents or an outside tutor) and four to eight kids whose ages were within a few years of each other. When it came to participating, maturity level mattered more than chronological age. From one year to the next, the group would change slightly as a few kids moved, went back to school, or graduated, and new members joined.

I realize now that what began as an effort to help my kids maintain a healthy social life actually served another purpose: it improved the quality of their education. The study groups gave them a chance to ask questions when they were confused, listen to answers from their peers, and take on the role of teacher when they responded to their friends' questions. 

I've learned that social, collaborative learning isn't simply more fun; it's also more effective than studying alone. As the research by Richard J. Light (Harvard Graduate School of Education) has revealed:

"Students who studied in groups, even only once a week, were more engaged in their studies, were better prepared for class, and learned significantly more than students who worked on their own." (Brown and Adler, Minds on Fire, p. 18. If you'd like to know more about Light's study, visit his website, The College Experience: Collaborative Learning, which includes video presentations.)

Homeschooled students who live far from one another can now experiment with social media to connect online. Although not the same as meeting face-to-face, social networking tools such as Meetup.com, Blackboard Collaborate, Google Hangouts (video chat with up to 9 friends), and Facebook Groups help to facilitate gatherings. They provide a way for those who are unable to meet in person to incorporate social learning into their educational experience.

Homeschooled kids spend a lot of time studying on their own, and not always by choice. Sometimes, it just isn't feasible to arrange a study group: parents work, schedules conflict, driving distances are excessive. At best, only about half of the subjects my teenage son studies involve him in collaborative learning experiences; for the rest, he relies on independent study (working on his own or with me), formal lecture-and-lab classes, and online courses. My hope is that in the future we will have access to more—and better—opportunities for social learning than we've had in the past.